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AFTER having his contract terminated by Atletico Mineiro at the start of this year Diego Costa was enjoying his semi-retirement. He travelled a bit. He trained to keep in shape. He chilled. He basically spent his days being Diego Costa. Only then a call came in from Wolves, desperate for a frontman after their summer signing Sasa Kalajdzic succumbed to an ACL, and the former Chelsea hitman most probably acknowledged that he turns 34 in three weeks’ time, and he presumably accepted too that what he was about to agree to was a natural progression in the great scheme of things.

Therefore, this week, a player who once scored 52 goals in 89 Premier League outings, entered the retirement home that is Wolves’ forward line.

There he will stroll the grounds, the grounds being the pitch at Molineux, and take weekly naps of ninety minutes or more. From time to time, he will be encouraged to potter, gentle activities that include laying off passes to a galloping full-back and occupying a defender. That aside, Costa’s stint in the Black Country will be a tranquil affair, a winding down complete with proverbial pipe and slippers and after going into battle many times over across a fractious career, it’s the least he deserves.

The last centre-forward to score for Wolves was Raul Jiminez on March 10th and it’s not as if their plethora of decent wingers have helped out in this regard, nor anyone else for that matter.

In their last five games, Bruno Lage’s men have notched twice, likely surprising themselves in the process, and if that suggests Wolves are in for a season of struggle it’s okay because at the other end they are as parsimonious as they are shot-shy up top. Guess how many times a well-organised back-line, bolstered by a brilliant goalkeeper in Jose Sa, has been breached in those five contests. That’s right, twice also.

It’s a negation of football’s best bits that brings to mind an eight-game fun-vacuum they treated us to last winter, a mind-numbing 769 minutes all told – or just shy of 13 hours – that brought a pitiful five goals for or against, and we can praise their consistent catenaccio, or be critical of their conservative ways, or outright call them boring. But isn’t it far preferable to head to the under/over market and make a profit from their extreme caution?

Actually, it’s perfectly possible to call them boring while additionally making a profit from them. That’s probably even better.

It’s not clear at this point whether Costa will start this Saturday lunchtime or appear from the bench, ring-rusty after not making a competitive appearance for over nine months, but either way City will deal with him. Physical fare they can handle. Physical fare they square up to, then send home exasperated because at the other end they’ve put away a hatful.

It’s the likes of Daniel Podence that typically bother the Premier League champions. Pacy, tricky wingers who can make the most of counters, of which Wolves have quite a few of, any of whom can raise their game on their day.

That they haven’t to date, however, says a great deal.

In fairness, Podence has played his part, scoring twice in four starts, and it’s notable that the Portuguese international can be as effective on the left flank as the right. Summer recruit Goncalo Guedes meanwhile, has mainly frustrated as he finds his feet, but there’s been enough flashes to hint that this disparaging write-up of Wolves might look rather foolish come mid-afternoon on Saturday.

And at the back, as stated, is their defence. A defence that conceded the fewest goals outside of the top four last term. A defence that routinely nullifies the good and the best, keeping three clean sheets already in 2022/23 while conceding just 6% of their shots faced.

City are averaging a devilish 6.66 corners per league game in 2022/23 and that figure tends to rise against stubborn opponents.

Only now here comes Erling Haaland. A one-man outlier. A freak, if that term can be used in an entirely complimentary way. The Norwegian is just seven weeks into his Manchester City career and already journalists have exhausted a thesaurus of superlatives while the rest of us just try and make sense of it all.

A 13th strike in nine games midweek in the Champions League means the towering forward is converting every 56 minutes, all the time exceeding his xG at a rate that makes you question well-established sites; makes you think there has been a misprint. So clinical has he been that Diego Costa’s stats from his peak, highlighted at the top of this page, just look ordinary by comparison. The beast of Stamford Bridge was slacking if anything.

And there is Kevin de Bruyne too, a player who will trigger footballing PTSD from Wolves after putting on an absolute masterclass at Molineux last May, scoring four times and running the show throughout. The Belgian maestro has assisted six times across all comps this season and is clearly relishing having a generational striker to provide for.

For all that Wolves are solid and stolid, and for all that City underwhelmed for the most past on Wednesday evening against Dortmund, the hosts will have no answer to these two if they show up.

The Blues are averaging 3.3 league goals per game right now, and taking on shots every 5.2 minutes, so it’s reasonable to expect them to extend their unbeaten run away from home, that presently takes in 21 games.

It’s reasonable also, to expect Wolves to resist for a considerable period. And be boring about it.

 

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