OFTEN, when people find out I am a football statistician, the response is “go on, give us your best stat.” There have been a fair few over the years, but I am always drawn back to the same reply: the player with the best minutes per goal in the month of December in Premier League history is Roque Santa Cruz, scoring a goal every 94 minutes. Nothing evokes festive thoughts more than Santa, and that Santa Cruz chose to score 35% of his Premier League goals in December (including his only hat-trick in a 5-3 defeat for Blackburn against Wigan in 2007, still the only hat-trick scoring loser in a Premier League game this century) is a gift for those of us looking for football facts.

2023 sees the return of Christmas Eve football to the footballing calendar for the first time since 1995, when Tony Yeboah scored twice in a 3-1 win for Leeds United against rivals Manchester United. Over 1,500 Premier League games have been played in December since that game but none on the 24^th until Wolves face Chelsea later this month. Christmas Eve football hasn’t ever really been a tradition (before 1995, the last game on that date was in 1966 and it’s only been played on 15 years in top-flight history). Christmas Day football, however, was a staple of the Christmas football diet, with 366 games played on that day between 1889 and 1965, when Blackpool’s 4-2 win over Blackburn became the last (possibly ever, but you never know) English top-flight game played on December 25^th. Derby County have enjoyed and hated Christmas Day – in 1896 they set a record for the biggest win on that day (8-1 vs West Brom) and then, 40 years later in 1936, they lost 7-0 to Everton to equal the biggest loss. At least there were no Christmas Day games in 2007-08.

TABLE-TOPPING ON CHRISTMAS DAY

Between 2004-05 and 2017-18, the team top of the Premier League on Christmas Day went on to win the title in 11 of 14 seasons. Since then, only two of the last five have done so, with Liverpool in both 2018-19 and 2020-21 failing to do so and Arsenal last season also losing top spot by the end of the season. We shouldn’t really have been surprised by the Gunners’ failure to stay on top – it was the sixth consecutive time they have led the way at Christmas but failed to secure the title. They have only won the title on 38% of the times they’ve been top at Christmas in the top-flight but are one of two teams to win the Premier League despite being as low as 6^th on that day (in 1997-98), along with Manchester City in 2020-21, who were 8^th.  The dead certs to win the league when leading at Christmas are undisputably Chelsea, who have been top five times at that stage and won the title every single time. No chance of that this year, mind.

BOTTOM AT CHRISTMAS

Being bottom of the Premier League at Christmas guaranteed relegation in each of the first 12 seasons between 1992-93 and 2003-04, with eight of those remaining rooted to the bottom at the end of the season. Then, in 2004-05, West Bromwich Albion survived despite having just one win and 10 points at Christmas (although they did only gain 34 points, the lowest of any team to avoid relegation). Since then, it’s been achieved three more times, by Sunderland in 2013-14, Leicester in 2014-15 and Wolves in 2022-23. The Foxes, of course, won the title the season after, although Wolves are 18 points behind the leaders as it stands so it is unlikely they’ll share in their title-winning joy, but they will just be happy to be off the bottom: they’ve ended Christmas Day bottom of the top-flight more often than any other side (6 times).

A special mention must go to Sheffield United in 2020-21, who became the first side since Bolton in 1902 to go into Christmas without a win, while their tally of two points were the fewest any side has had on Christmas Day. There’s a possibility they’ll end this Christmas bottom, although they do at least have some wins and more points on the board. Chris Wilder – who has recently returned to Bramall Lane – was their manager at Christmas in 2020 and will look to avoid becoming the fourth manager to end Christmas at the bottom of the Premier League twice – the others are Danny Wilson (1997 and 1999), Avram Grant (2009 and 2010) and Nigel Pearson (2014 and 2019).

CHRISTMAS CARDS

A tradition going back at least the last couple of centuries, Christmas cards are a way of letting others know we’re thinking of them at this time of year. In the Premier League, cards are red and yellow and handed out by referees. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the player with the most games in December, Gareth Barry, also has the most cards (20) in that month. Two players have been sent off three times in the Premier League in December, with Younes Kaboul and Paul Konchesky doing so, the latter notable for doing so twice in December 2014, one of only two players to get two reds in a December month, along with Christian Ziege who managed it in consecutive games in December 2002, in the second of which Konchesky was subbed on for Charlton. Perhaps he took some notes.

Players with surnames beginning with Z seem to be attracted to Christmas cards – Watford’s Marvin Zeegelaar only played four games in December but managed to receive a card in every game (3 yellows, 1 red), a Premier League record. At the other end of the alphabet, the two players with the most games in December without getting a single card are Aarons Hughes (75) and Lennon (66). It’s a funny old game at all times of the year.