THE name Shaun Taylor probably isn’t one that crops up in many conversations between friends discussing ex-Premier League footballers (this is a genuine pastime, it’s great fun) but he holds a unique place in the history of the competition. During the 1993-94 campaign, Swindon Town used 26 players but only Taylor remained on the pitch for every single minute, a notable effort on its own, given it was a 42-game season. This means he was on the pitch for all 100 of the goals Swindon conceded that season, a record. Seven of those goals were scored past goalkeeper Jon Sheffield in February 1994, a harbinger of what was to come 30 years later.

Sheffield United have had a miserable season – three wins, one clean sheet, 97 goals conceded and their worst ever league defeat in September in an 8-0 hammering at the hands of Newcastle have all ensured an immediate return to the Championship for the Blades. Swindon’s goals conceded record has stood since 1994, but three goals against in their last three games will see the Blades equal it. Four goals – a figure they’ve conceded in nine different games this season – would see them become the first side to concede more than 100 in a top-flight season since Ipswich in 1963-64.

In a 38-game season, the record had been held by Derby County in 2007-08, who shipped 89 times in a campaign they only won once and picked up 11 points. Sheffield United won’t be finishing with lower than that points total, but their goals against column is in a worse shape than Derby’s was. To look at top-flight history, the only sides to concede more goals in a season with a maximum of 20 teams are Darwen in 1891-92 (a seemingly improbable 112 in 26 games), Wolves in 1905-06 (99 in 1905-06) and Leicester City (102 in 1908-09), all of which pre-date the first ever feature-length comedy film. Fans of those sides could have done with a laugh.

At Bramall Lane, the Blades have suffered even more than on their travels, shipping 51 goals in 17 games in the Premier League, a record in the competition they took from Watford, who let in 46 in 2021-22 (it took goalkeeper Petr Cech 97 home appearances and more than six years in the Premier League to concede 51 home goals). In the entire history of the top-flight, only Aston Villa in 1935-36 (56) have ever conceded more in a season on home soil than the Blades this season, who were unsurprisingly relegated. Chelsea let in 50 at Stamford Bridge in 1959-60 but had a secret weapon – a young Jimmy Greaves, who scored 19 times in 21 home games that season as they avoided relegation. Queen Victoria was on the throne the last time a side conceded at a rate of three goals per game at home in a top-flight season – Lancashire side Darwen, who let in 43 in 13 games in 1891-92. Sheffield United’s sequence of 5-0, 5-0 and 6-0 defeats against Aston Villa, Brighton and Arsenal respectively this season made them the first Football League side since Rochdale in 1932 to concede five goals in three home league games in a row.

The underlying numbers are – in a surprise to absolutely no one – not the best reading for Blades fans. They have faced the most shots (630), most shots on target (250) and allowed the most touches in their own box (1,309) in the Premier League this season. Since Opta began recording shot data in 2003-04, only two teams have faced more shots on target in a Premier League season than the Blades this season: Wolves in 2011-12 and Norwich in 2004-05.

The fewest clean sheets in a Premier League season is two, by West Brom in 2010-11, whose two clean sheets came in the second match of the season and second to last match of the season. Sheffield United’s lone clean sheet was in a 1-0 victory over Brentford in December; unfortunately, it wasn’t a catalyst to shore up defensively, as they have let in 56 goals in 19 games since then. Only three top-flight teams have ever played 30+ games in a season and kept one clean sheet, and none since the year of the moon landings (those three are Portsmouth in 1958-59, Chelsea in 1960-61 and QPR in 1968-69).

Although no players are close to breaking Shaun Taylor’s goals conceded record, one Blades defender now has the record in a 38-game season – Anel Ahmedhodzic has been on the pitch when 83 goals have gone in this season (one every 30 minutes), breaking the previous record of 82 set by Tyrone Mears in 2009-10 and Stephen Ward in 2011-12. Spare a thought also for Oliver McBurnie, who has six goals and three assists this season but has played in 21 matches and not ended on the winning side in any (D6 L15), the most by a player since Alan Hutton for Aston Villa in 2015-16 (28). A record-breaking season in so many ways the Blades wouldn’t have wanted.