MANY hours were spent deliberating on what to write about for this week’s article. I thought about maybe something on historical timewasting, but it turns out that concept has only just been invented by Arsenal on Sunday so that’s out.
I also saw that Erling Haaland had also become the joint-fastest player in all of football history to score 100 goals for a club, so thought maybe something about that. But then 2 minutes of research led me to the fact that he isn’t (George Camsell scored 100 goals in 79 games for Middlesbrough for starters) so that also went out the window.
Then my son came home from school humming the ‘days of the week’ song (it’s the tune of the Addams family) so I thought I’d do something around that instead. (Quite why he’s only just learning those at the age of 14 is beyond me, but that’s for another time).
The huge Monday Night Football game this week is between Bournemouth and Southampton, and those are the two teams with historically the worst loss rates on Monday depending on how many games you choose.
| PL On Mondays | Games (Min 5) | L | Loss Rate | PL On Mondays | Games (Min 20) | L | Loss Rate | |
| Bournemouth | 7 | 5 | 71.4% | Southampton | 52 | 28 | 53.8% | |
| Hull City | 10 | 7 | 70.0% | Middlesbrough | 39 | 20 | 51.3% | |
| Oldham Athletic | 9 | 6 | 66.7% | Sunderland | 36 | 18 | 50.0% | |
| Watford | 16 | 9 | 56.3% | Burnley | 20 | 10 | 50.0% |
If any broadcasters pick up on this information and don’t select the Boomtown Rats for the featured music, then that’s an opportunity well missed.
So now I’m sure you’re all keen to know – “well who’s got the best records on a Monday Opta? And what about all the other days of the week?” Well, ask and you shall receive. Manchester United have the best record on Mondays, with a surprise package in second and fifth place. Indeed, Derby’s ‘worst team in Premier League history’ side of 2007-08 only won one game that season, with that game coming on a Monday.
| PL On Mondays | Games | W | Win Rate |
| Manchester United | 73 | 47 | 64.4% |
| Sheffield Wednesday | 24 | 15 | 62.5% |
| Arsenal | 79 | 44 | 55.7% |
| Chelsea | 66 | 35 | 53.0% |
| Derby County | 17 | 9 | 52.9% |
In terms of best 100% win rates on a specific day, there are four occasions of a team playing more than once and winning all of them, with Brentford’s Friday record leading the way. Indeed, the Bees’ first ever game in the competition was a Friday victory against Arsenal back in 2021.
| Day | Team | Games | W |
| Friday | Brentford | 4 | 4 |
| Friday | Bournemouth | 2 | 2 |
| Wednesday | Barnsley | 2 | 2 |
| Sunday | Oldham Athletic | 2 | 2 |
The most games played on a certain day without ever losing is six, by Blackburn Rovers on Thursdays. Nothing to write home about there. However, when looking at teams to play the most games without ever winning on a certain day it’s a different story.
| Day | Team | Games | W | D | L |
| Tuesday | West Bromwich Albion | 32 | 0 | 13 | 19 |
| Tuesday | Norwich City | 17 | 0 | 4 | 13 |
| Friday | Crystal Palace | 10 | 0 | 4 | 6 |
| Monday | Hull City | 10 | 0 | 3 | 7 |
| Wednesday | Reading | 8 | 0 | 3 | 5 |
West Brom have played a whopping 32 Premier League games on Tuesdays without ever winning, while Norwich also seem to have something against that particular day.
Perhaps unsurprising given their dominance in the first 20 or so seasons, but Manchester United hold the record for most wins on six of the seven days of the week in Premier League history. There’s a bit more variety in the most defeats for each day of the week, and funny seeing Arsenal and Tottenham sharing the record for Thursdays, given the epic Europa League social media banter we so often see between fans of the sides.
| Day | Most Wins | Total |
| Monday | Manchester United | 47 |
| Tuesday | Manchester United | 38 |
| Wednesday | Manchester United | 77 |
| Thursday | Manchester United | 13 |
| Friday | Liverpool | 11 |
| Saturday | Manchester United | 382 |
| Sunday | Manchester United | 180 |
| Day | Most Defeats | Total |
| Monday | West Ham/Everton/Newcastle | 33 |
| Tuesday | West Bromwich Albion | 19 |
| Wednesday | West Ham/Newcastle | 48 |
| Thursday | Tottenham/Arsenal | 7 |
| Friday | Newcastle/Leicester | 8 |
| Saturday | Southampton | 248 |
| Sunday | Tottenham Hotspur | 109 |
When it comes to player stats, there are so many different angles we can look at. However, we’re bound by word counts, time constraints, and short attention spans so we’ll just look at a few.
These are the highest scoring players in Premier League history to score all of their goals on one day of the week. Cadamarteri’s were also in games that kicked off at 3pm, earning him the lifetime achievement award for services to tradition.
| Day | Player | Goals |
| Saturday | Cadamarteri, Danny | 13 |
| Saturday | Billing, Philip | 12 |
| Saturday | Gravesen, Thomas | 11 |
| Saturday | Rodrigo Muniz | 9 |
| Saturday | Mendonca, Clive | 8 |
| Saturday | Hulse, Robert | 8 |
| Saturday | Bannister, Gary | 8 |
Meanwhile, the following players all scored 5 Premier League goals, with each one coming on a different day of the week. This earns them the award we’ll call the ‘working week’.
| Player |
| Batty, David |
| Milton, Simon |
| João Cancelo |
| Aït-Nouri, Rayan |
And finally, here’s the top scoring player on each day of the week. We understand Harry Kane’s “most PL goals on a Thursday and Sunday” trophies sit proudly alongside the 2019 Audi Cup at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.
| Day | Top Scoring Player | Goals |
| Monday | Andrew Cole | 18 |
| Tuesday | Alan Shearer | 15 |
| Wednesday | Alan Shearer | 27 |
| Thursday | Harry Kane | 10 |
| Friday | Thierry Henry | 11 |
| Saturday | Alan Shearer | 163 |
| Sunday | Harry Kane | 82 |
Thanks for reading, have a lovely weekend.
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