THE Premier League Hall of Fame launched with two initial members and you’d be hard pressed to find any reason why Alan Shearer and Thierry Henry shouldn’t have been the first two inductees. Anyone citing Alan Shearer’s relative lack of silverware should have to write out “it is an institution honouring the achievements of individuals in a particular activity or field” 260 times in chalk. The PLHOF will now be sequentially filled with other huge figures and rightly so, but what about players who made only a brief impact on the Premier League in terms of time played, but a big impact on the pitch. They won’t ever get a hall of fame. But, and hear me out here, what if they did?
So ,the parameters for this Brief But Memorable Impact Hall of Fame (BBMIHOF) are this: two seasons. You must have appeared in a maximum of two Premier League season. That doesn’t mean the likes of Bruno Fernandes (two seasons and counting) or Teemu Pukki (two seasons so far and presumably another one on the way) count. No, BBMIHOF players need to have moved to a Premier League team and had two (or one) stellar seasons in “our league”. Here then, are the first five inductees.
Jurgen Klinsmann [56 games, 24 goals, 18 assists]
0.78 goal involvements per game for the German striker everyone came to love permanently except for Alan Sugar. Klinsmann gets additional kudos for splitting his two Premier League seasons, first appearing in 1994-95 as the “haha wow actually I heard him on Match of the Day he’s really nice” figure and then again as an anti-relegation mercenary with slightly shorter hair in 1997-98. His attacking numbers are incredible really, as in neither campaign did he play for a particularly strong Tottenham team. Klinsmann’s crowning glory was to provide four goals and two assists in Tottenham’s 6-2 win at Wimbledon in May 1998, his final away appearance in the competition. Only Alan Shearer has ever been involved in as many goals in a single Premier League game. The actual Hall of Fame has Shearer, the BBMIHOF has Jurgen.
Dimitri Payet [48 games, 11 goals, 18 assists]
West Ham are currently flying high with a functional yet exciting team. In the mid-2010s they were considerably less functional but could call on the wantway genius of Dimitri Payet for two seasons. His assist numbers are more than decent but could have been even higher had he had more clinical team-mates. To end the decade as West Ham’s second most creative player despite featuring in only two campaigns is the sort of accolade a BBMIHOF jury member looks for and Payet can even add in a vandalised mural at London Stadium. He came, he scored, he conquered, then he cleared off to Marseille under a bit of a cloud.
Dimitri Payet is the second most creative West Ham PL player in the 2010s having featured in 14% of their games
— Duncan Alexander (@oilysailor) December 20, 2019
Michu [52 games, 20 goals, 4 assists]
Sometimes it’s hard to remember just how mad English football went for Michu. Like a footballing version of the 2012 Olympics, he had a much-cited opening ceremony in London (two goals and an assist at QPR on his debut) but long-term his legacy perhaps wasn’t as big as people thought it was going to be. The fact he cost Swansea only £2m or so sent the footballer valuation system into meltdown, as every new signing in football was immediately plugged into the “Michu Matrix”. Did your club sign a dud for £10m? That’s five Michus! 18 league goals in his first season had the big guns sniffing but just two more followed in 2013-14 as injury dogged him and sadly impacted the remainder of his career. No matter, he’s into the BBMIHOF for that mad season where he taught everyone basic multiplication.
Angel Di Maria [27 games, 3 goals, 10 assists]
We heard it again this midweek as Angel Di Maria tormented Manchester City in the first half of PSG’s Champions League semi-final: how did a player this good not do well in the Premier League? Longevity-wise, and personal happiness-wise, that’s true; Di Maria’s time at Manchester United was not great, but on the pitch he was as good as ever, and the numbers back it up. 10 assists in just 27 games sounds good and it is demonstrably good because he’s the only player in the competition’s history to play just one season and get into double figures for assists. And that’s without even talking about his scooped chip away at Leicester. Listen, he almost certainly won’t turn up for the BBMIHOF awards dinner in Ashby de la Zouch but he’ll still be inducted.
Asier del Horno [25 games, 5 assists, 13 clean sheets]
At BBMIHOF we understand we have to recognise defensive prowess too and that’s why Basque Wayne Bridge lookalike Asier del Horno is the first defender to be inducted. If you’re a professional footballer and you need to be dropped into the Premier League for a single season then Chelsea’s utterly dominant defence of their league title in 2005-06 is a solid one. Del Horno racked up 13 clean sheets in 25 games but he was subbed off in seven matches and you only get a clean sheet for playing in the whole game so it should be pointed out that his club only let in 11 goals in the games he took part in. He also provided five assists, which was more than Robert Pires, Joe Cole or Damien Duff did that season. Asier: welcome to the BBMIHOF. You can have two dinners if you like, Angel’s not turned up.
